June 23, 2013 | By: Vidyanath Aarvi


These are actual profiles from matrimonial sites like bharatmatrimony.com, shaadi.com, etc. They are hilarious i could say and I don't feel like marrying any girl after reading this.

1. I want very simple boy. from brahmin educated family from Orissa state she is also know about RAMAYAN, GEETA, BHAGABATA, and other homework.
(Can somebody please explain what homework? Oh my god! that's household work!!)

2. I want a boy with no drinks. if he wants he can wear jeans in house, but while steping out of house he should give respect to our cast.
(By not wearing his jeans? What the hell...!!!!)

3. Hye I am a good loking girl,who has the capability to make any body to lough. I believe in god and according to me friends are the real messenger of god. The 3 things i am looking from a boy they are
  1. They must believe in god.
  2. They have to like my proffesion
  3. They should not get bored with me when i will try to make them lough.
(I am loughing mai yass aaff!!)

4. Whatever he may be but he should feel that he is going to be someone groom and he must think of the future life if he is too like this he would be called the man of the lamp
(I am clueless, I feel so lost. Can anyone tell me what this girl wants A Lamp ??)

5. I love my patner i marriage the patner ok. i search my patner and I love the patner ok. the patner is a graduate ok.
(The 'Ok-syndrome'... Ok Ok)

6. I am pranati my family histry my two brother two sister and father & Mother. sister completely married
(Somebody please explain how to get married 'completely'?)

7. My name is farhanbegum and i am unmarried. pleaes you marrige me pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes 
(Heights of desperation!)

8. I am kanandevi. i do own businas.one sistar.he was marred.
(“One sister…he was marred” I’m paralyzed…)

9. I am Sharmila my colour is black, but my heart is white. i like social service.
(Is she a Zebra???)

10. Im Ramya. I don Bachlor degree. I luv eating food. Waching movies. I no give douri. My futur husband should be 22-24 yr age. And hav salary 25-30 Lacs.
(Heights of expectations!! 30 Lakh at the age of 24 yrs ??? Isn't she crazy? Expectations should have some limitations... I'm dead...)

Disclaimer: I am not responsible if you forget your basic grammar after reading this post.
June 07, 2013 | By: Vidyanath Aarvi

Simile Missiles

Phone to iPhone hona chahiye... S2, S3 aur S4 toh Train Ke Dabbe Bhi hote hai.

Ladkiya foreigner honi chahiye... Local toh mumbai ki trains bhi hai.

Ladki simple honi chahiye... Sec C toh 1/Cos C bhi hota hai.

Relationship me trust aur pyaar hona chahiye... Loyal toh kutte bhi hote hai.

Girlfriend passionate honi chahiye... Caring toh nurse bhi hoti hai.

Ladkiya English baat karni chahiye... Vinglish toh Sridevi bhi baat karti hai.

Ladki andar se achi honi chahiye... Bahari nikhar toh fair n lovely bhi deti hai.

Wife ek best frnd jaisi honi chahiye... Life companion toh s4 bhi hota hai.

Ladka sensitive hona chahiye... Emotions toh whatsapp main bhi hai.

Ladki Mein Attitude hona chaiye... Angry toh Aaj kal birds bhi hote hai.

Air condition cooling dena chahiye... Hava toh lays ke packet me bhi hoti hai.

Cable ho toh tata sky jaisa... Dish toh har ghar k kitchen me hote hai.

Admi ko limit mai rehna chahiye... Unlimited toh mera data plan bhi hai.

Cement to pure honi chahiye... Strong toh apni dosti bhi hai.

Zindagi suljhi hui honi chahiye... Uljhe hue toh baal bhi hai.

Ladki sweeet honi chaiye... Tikhi toh ramdev ki mirchi bhi hoti hai.

Ladka smart hona chahiye... Ameer toh Mukesh Ambani ka beta bhi hai.

Ladki me sense of humor hona chahiye... SUSHIL toh SHINDE bhi hota hai.

Ladki asli me ladki honi chahiye... Mahela toh jaywardane bhi hai.

Baal Swing honi chahiye... Shiny toh Ahuja bhi hai.

Ladkiya hamesha khush honi chahiye... Rotlu toh sreesanth bhi hai.

Bachha ek hi paida hona chaiye... Twins toh towers bhi hote hai.

Exams mei fail hona chaiye... Pass toh train bhi hote hai.

Insan me atma, sanman hona chahie... Jaan toh aaj kal cement me bhi hota hai.

Log special honi chahiye... Aam toh Fruit bhi hota hai.

Bathroom mein Hair Dryer hona chahiye... Towel toh Sreesanth ke paas bhi hai.

Aadmi ko khush rehna chahiye... Udaas toh Pankaj bhi hai.

Bande ke paas Izzat honi chahiye... Paise toh Sunny Leone ke paas bhi hai.

Ladka handsome hona chahiye... Cool toh Talcum Powder bhi hota hai.

Baal majboot hone chahiye... Mulayam toh Yadav bhi hai.

Ladka accha hona chahiye... Smart to Phone bhi hota hai.

* Engg students toh fail honi chahiye... All-clear toh shampoo bhi hoti hai.

** Reply dang se karna chahiye... Hmm toh bhains bhi karti hai.